A Couple Jokes (again)?

This Question From Pharmacist Jokes | 6 Answers


it got removed for some reason, but yeah star if you think its funny
joke 1:
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in
charge.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning
against the wall.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning
against the wall over there.The assistant pharmacist says,”Oh that guy.Oh yeah
he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative.He
seems to be doing ok now….. I guess.” The head pharmacist says,”Are you crazy??
You can’t sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!?”
The assistant pharmacist says “Well why not?? Look at him over there!
Its working! He’s too scared to cough now!!…..”
joke 2
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal
king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step
of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit.
So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, “I brought ten apples.” The king
then explained the trial to him. “You have to shove the fruits up your butt
without any expression on your face or you’ll be eaten.”
The first apple went in… but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was
killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained
the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…
and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked,
“Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?” The second one replied,
“i couldn’t help it, I saw the third guy coming with watermelons.”
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida… and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
This was an actual job application to work at McDonald’s.

6 Comments so far

  1. Medical Jokes: RawrA7X

    I’ve heard the first two jokes. They’re old, but still made me laugh. Now the third one had me cracking up… :D

  2. Medical Jokes: The apple beast.

    I really liked the 1st and 3rd one.. but.. in the second one… what did the last guy do? stick the watermelons into his butt? oh wait.. ooohhhh…. lol i thought that he was just couting the berries.. =D that was hilarious!

  3. Medical Jokes: Ellise <3

    OMG that was hilarious!!!
    hahahahahahahahahahahaha
    ROFLMAO!!!!

  4. Medical Jokes: Sam

    omg! i loved the job aplication..its BRILLIANT!!

  5. Medical Jokes: S

    lol that was funny I really liked joke:2

  6. Medical Jokes: MAGIC MAN

    WOW…THAT WAS HILARIOUS. THAT MADE MY DAY. THANK YOU




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