6 Comments so far

1. Medical Jokes: =] Craggy

   Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
   Are you choking?
   No, I really did!
   Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
   You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
   Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
   Use a pencil ‘till I get there
   Doctor, Doctor I think I’m a bell?
   Take these and if it doesn’t help give me a ring!
   Doctor, Doctor I think I’m suffering from Deja Vu!
   Didn’t I see you yesterday?
   Doctor, Doctor I’ve got wind! Can you give me something?
   Yes – here’s a kite!
   Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
   Stick your foot out and trip it up

2. Medical Jokes: Joe K

   Never Tick off a Nurse!
   A big shot executive had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.
   The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, “I have to take your temperature.” After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
   “No, I’m sorry, the nurse stated, “but for this reading, I can’t use an oral thermometer.”
   This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
   After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, “I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!” She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After a half hour, the man’s doctor comes into the room.
   “What’s going on here?” asked the doctor.
   Angrily, the man answers, “What’s the matter, Doc? Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?”
   After a pause, the doctor confesses, “Not with a carnation.”

3. Medical Jokes: saleens7

   It’s not really a doctor doctor joke but it’s still funny
   This guy got a call from the doctors with results a check up, and the doctor says I have bad news and worst news. The man says whats the bad news, the doctor says you only have 24 hours to live.
   The man said oh my god, what’s the worst news. The doctor says, I forgot to call you yesterday

4. Medical Jokes: capricorn dancer

   Dr Dr,if i give up wine,women and song,will i live longer?
   No,but it will seem longer.
   Dr Dr i swallowed a cantelope.
   You’re feeling melon-choly
   Dr Dr what’s wrong with me
   Well,you’ve got a carrot up your nose,a bean in one ear and a french fry in the other.I’d say you’re not eating right.

5. Medical Jokes: Paul L

   A brunette goes to the doctor. “Doctor doctor, every time I touch my head (touches her head) Ouch – it hurts. If I touch my leg (touches her leg) Ouch! it hurts. And every time I touch my arm (touches her arm) Ouch! it hurts.” The doctor asked her if she was born a blonde and she said yes. The doctor nods and says “your finger is broken”.

6. Medical Jokes: Enough Is Enough

   doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains.
   Pull yourself together !