This Question From Pharmacist Jokes | 11 Answers
A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. “Dear Lord,” she prays, “if I don’t get some cash, I’m gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery.”
Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn’t win. She prays even harder, saying, “God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once.”
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak.
“Sweetheart, work with me on this,” he says. “Buy a ticket.”
A blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. “I’m sorry,” says the pharmacist, “we don’t have any.”
“But I always get it here,” says the blonde.
“Do you have the container it comes in?”
“Yes!” says the blonde, “I will go and get it
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, “This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.”
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: “To apply, push up bottom.”
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I am blond but i find these jokes funny…
A blond walks into a hairdresser’s with some headphones in. The hairdresser asks her to remove them for her hair cut. “but if i remove them then i will die!”
The blonde gets up onto the chair and the hairdressers gently removes the headphones. The blonde collapses onto the floor and has stopped breathing. Curious the hairdresser listens to the head phones “Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out.” is all that she hears!
hahahaha there cool! Like the 2nd one best!
Here’s one of mine!
There are 3 blondes who are walking in the forest and they come upon a set of tracks. The 1st londe says, these are deer tracks, the 2nd goes no these are moose tracks the 3rd goes no there definatly fox tracks. All the blondes are arguing when the train comes along and kills them!!
Funny!
Cool jokes (have a star!)
lmao. funny. i gotta tell you never heard these before and there hilarious;
lol second one was great, first 1 took me 5 secs to understand =]
lol good one
lol very funny.
LOL, three girls are walking through a forest, a brunette a ginger and a blonde, when they come across a farm, they went into the barn to look around when suddenly they heard the farmer coming up behind them. So that they wouldn’t get caught they all jumped into barrels. As the farmer walked past the brunette said ‘moooo, moooo’
the ginger girl said ‘cock-a-doodle-doo’
Then the blonde said ‘potatoes, potatoes’
Three girls were stuck on a building that was on fire. They were waiting for a fire brigade. There was a red head, a brunette and a blonde. Two boys on the ground got a sheet and said to the red head “Hey! Jump down and we’ll save you” the red head jumped and they moved the sheet, the red head died. They then said to the brunette “Hey jump down and we’ll save you!” the brunette had witnessed the red head incident and said “I dont trust you! How do I know you wont do to me what you did to the red head?” they said “Oh we love brunettes!” she jumped down, they moved the sheet. They then turned to the blonde, “Jump down! We’ll save you! We hate brunettes and red heads but we love blondes!” the blonde humm and harred and eventually said “I dont trust you! So put the sheet on the ground then walk a metre away then I’ll jump” they did what she said, she jumped….
Haha I love blonde jokes they are so funny.
I like to consider myself more as yellow…
heard them before but still funny
Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette – the blonde would have to stop for directions!
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The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”
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A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
“Where did you get that?”
The pig replied,
“I won her in a raffle!”
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A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
“For best results, put on two coats”.
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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:
“I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!
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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,
“I think they could be bird tracks.”
The second blonde went to look and said,
“No, I think these are deer tracks.”
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
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A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
“You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”
——————————————————————————–
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,
“You dumb blonde bimbo! It’s blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!”
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A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
“I can’t take this, you’re my friend.”
But the blonde insisted saying,
“No. A bet’s a bet.”
Then the redhead said
“Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”
The blonde replied
“Well, so did I, but I didn’t think he would jump again!”
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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,
“Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!”
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
“If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?”
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, “157.”
The farmer was amazed – she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
“If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?”