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Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil ‘till I get there
Doctor, Doctor I think I’m a bell?
Take these and if it doesn’t help give me a ring!
Doctor, Doctor I think I’m suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn’t I see you yesterday?
Doctor, Doctor I’ve got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes – here’s a kite!
Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!
lol oldies but still goodies!
well, its not really about a doctor but its close enough.
GYNECOLOGIST GUESSING GAME
—————————
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a local gynecologist. The doctor took one look at her and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately asked her to undress, afterwhich the doctor began to stroke her thigh.
Doing so, he asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is right,” said the doctor.
He then began to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked. “Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.” “Correct,” replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?” “Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place.”
DOCTOR AND THE NURSE
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
“But how will I let you know the baby is born?” she asked.
He replied, “Just send me a postcard and write “spaghetti” on the back. I’ll take care of expenses.” Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by, and then one day the doctor’s wife called him at the office and said, “Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don’t understand what it means.”
The doctor said, “Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.”
Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.
So the wife picked up the card and read: “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti – Two with sausage and meatballs; two without.”
“Doctor Doctor!” Wailed the pretty blonde lady.
“What seems to be the matter?” Asks the Doctor.
“It’s my boyfriend! He’s lost all his hair, his head has gone purple and he has large swellings either side of his neck. Please help me!” She burst into tears.
“I’m afraid there is only one thing you can do my dear.” States the kindly old quack.
“Anything Doctor. . . anything.”
“Give him the elbow, he’s obviously a fecking d*ckhead.”
…I think I’m a bivouac & a tepee!
” You’re too tense”!
Oldies but goldies.
Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains
sit down and pull yourself together!
Doctor, Doctor I think I`m a moth!
Sorry I`m not a Psychiatrist.
I know, but your light was on.
*belches*
Here you go
DDDDDDDDDD
*Drops a star*
Doctor,Doctor!
I need 2 points
ha ha you enjoy these?