This Question From Veterinarian Jokes | 5 Answers
I got this as an e-mail and the sender told me it was really funny. They said to read it through a few times to get it. I’ve read through it a lot and I don’t get it. If you get this joke, tell me what it is.
1. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
5. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
6. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
10. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
11. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
12. Eye Drops Off Shelf
13. Teachers Strike Idle Kids
14. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
16. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
17. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
18. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
19. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
20. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
21. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
22. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
23. War Dims Hope for Peace
24. If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
25. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
26. Deer Kill 17,000
27. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
28. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
29. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
30. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
31. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
32. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
34. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
35. Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
36. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
37. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
39. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
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These are headlines that are worded poorly and therefore are humorous. For example “Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors” – it makes it sound like hospitals are being sued by doctors with seven feet, when in fact sever podiatrists are suing hospitals.
I only get a few. But they didn’t make me laugh because I had to think about them so hard.
These are headlines to newspapers or something that records the news, anyways, the headlines are worded badly…
Most headlines are meant to use words that normally aren’t used together, to make the article seem better.
As for #3. Running Down Jaywalkers..
Jaywalkers run across roads illegally, so the newspaper writers wanted to fit in some words to go with the ‘flow’.
Ok
1 children as ingredients
2 stating the obvious that something was wrong in a jet crash
3 Police are running over jaywalkers
4 belting (whipping) passengers
5 drunk spending 9 months in a violin case
6 separated siamese twin joins (attaches to) parents
7 Head looking for arms
8 pope likes prostitutes
9 vet mates with panda
10 waffles you eat instead of waffles meaning wavers
11 cancer in the mushrooms instead of cancer in women grows
12 eyes fall off shelf instead of over the counter eye drops
13 teachers hit kids instead of case kids to be idle
14 tells lies instead of more ahead
15 cow hurts farmer with axe stead of the farmer having the axe
16 ironic the crashed plane was too close to ground
17 dead miners refusing to work instead of live miners refusing to work after someone died
18 court shots defendant instead of trying a trying a shooter
19 tree finds painting instead of painting found next to a tree
20 sisters spent 18 years in checkout counter
21 killer to die for a second time
22 instead of telling loved one you have herpes, you share herpes with them
23 war reduces chance for hope instead of war dimming giving hope ofr peace
24 ironic that if it’s not settled quick it will last awhile
25 ironic cold wave temperature
26 dear kills 17000
27 couple killed police think it might be a homicide
28 tape holds up bridge instead of the political process(red tape) slowing the building
29 hundreds dead in a cemetery
30 lightning/Battery(car battery) instead of Beating someone
31 obesity study looking for larger size instead of larger numbers
32 astronaut farts in space
33 kids are the snack food
34 chef feeds needy his heart instead of puts his heart into it (feelings)
35 arson dude is held inside a fire
36 ban on soliciting to dead people instead of the attempt to ban soliciting stopped
37 literally cut dropouts in half instead of reduced number of students dropping out
38 vaccine has rabies instead of keeping it in check
39 sued by 7 foot tall doctors instead of feet doctors
you have to look beyond the obvious,like in #7 the head seeks arms,or in #28 the bridge is held up by tape not concrete.in #37 the dropouts are cut in half(physically)not mathamatically.in #8 hoes are appealing to the pope,in #39 the hospital is being sued by 7 foot TALL doctors.or doctors with 7 feet