This Question From Rude Jokes | 13 Answers
We are having a joke off at school and I need a really good and funny joke. Our teacher says no rudeness, bad language or racist jokes. Do you know a good joke?
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what table can be eaten?
ans:vegetables!
what 4 letters dentist always used?
ans: I C D K (i see decay)!
A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, ‘Buk Buk BUK.’ The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them…and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.
Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,’ Buk Buk BuKKOOK!’ The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.
The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, ‘Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!’ The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.
She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, “Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit…”
this guy(charlie) had to go on a business trip so he left his freind(tom) in charge of taking care of his cat.so charlie was at his meeting and the secretary came in and told charlie tom was on the phone so he answered it and tom said your cats dead bro. charlie replied what the hell man you cant just call and say your cat died your suppose to call and say your cats on the roof then call back a little while latter and say sorry man there was nothing i could do. tom says oh sorry bro i didnt know. so about
How about this one…………
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the Pearly Gates, petted her on the head and said, “You have been a good cat for these 40 years. Anything that you want is yours for the asking.” The cat thought for a minute and replied, “All my life I have lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.” God said, “Say no more.” Instantly the cat had a huge, fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident, and they all went to heaven together. God met them at the gates of Heaven with the same offer He made to the cat. The mice said, “Well, all our lives we’ve had to run from dogs, cats and even people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller skates, we’d never have to run again.” God said, “It is done!” All the mice had beautiful little roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, “Is everything okay? How you been doing? Are you happy?” The cat replied, “Oh, I’ve never been so happy in my life! My pillow is so fluffy, and those little meals-on-wheels you’ve been sending over here are delicious!
A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, “I love my BMW, I love my BMW.” Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. “My BMW! My BMW!” he sobbed. A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, “Sir, sir, you’re bleeding! And my god, your left arm is gone!” The lawyer, horrified, screamed “My Rolex! My Rolex!”
Why did the chicken cross the road???
Barack Obama
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change!
The chicken wanted change!
John McCain
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialoge with all the chickens
On the other side of the road.
Hillary Clinton
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross
the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right
from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it
deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.
George W. Bush
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either
for us or against us. There is no middle road here.
Dick Cheney
Where’s my gun??
Sarah Palin
Where’s my gun?? That chicken’s got no choice!!
Colin Powell
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the
chicken crossing the road!!
Bill Clinton
I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken???
Al Gore
I invented the chicken.
John Kerry
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!!! It was the
wrong road to cross and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for
it now, and will remain against it.
Al Sharpton
Why are all the chickens white??? We need some black chickens.
Dr. Phil
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal
with the problem on this side of the road before he goes after the problem on the
other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting
by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
Oprah
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross
this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls, which is part of life, I am going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
Anderson Cooper, CNN
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to
have access to the other side of the road.
Nancy Grace
That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty!!! You can see it in his eyes
and on the way he walks.
Pat Buchanan
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
Martha Stewart
No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing
order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr. Seuss
Did the chicken cross the road?? Did he cross it with a toad?? Yes, the chicken
crossed the road, but why it crossed, I have not been told.
Ernest Hemingway
To die in the rain…………..alone.
Jerry Falwell
Because the chicken was gay!!! Can’t you people see the plain truth??? That’s why
they call it “THE OTHER SIDE”. Yes my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat
that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out
this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases
like “The other side”. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and
as simple as that.
Everyone’s Grandpa
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the
chicken crossed the road and that was good enough.
Barbara Walters
Isn’t that interesting??? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken
tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the
road!
Aristotle
It is the nature of chickens to cross the roads.
John Lennon
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing the roads together, in peace.
Bill Gates
I have just released “eChicken 2008″ which will not only cross roads but it will
also lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of echicken 2008. This new platform is
much more stable and will never reboot.
Albert Einstein
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath The chicken???
Colonel Sanders
Did I miss one????
Here is an old blonde joke.
If a blonde, brunette, and red head jumped out of a plane who would hit the ground last?
The blonde because she would have to stop and ask for directions.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
“I got some new pajamas with uh, pockets in them..
which was great because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept.”
- Demetri Martin
What did one strawberry say to another strawberry?
If you weren’t so fresh, you wouldn’t be in this jam.
if someone gets in your face or too close to you..
say: did i invite you to my bbq?
… because your all up in my grill.
WHY WOULD THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD. tO GET 2 THE OTHER SIDE
This quote made me laugh: “It was so funny I laughed until I stopped.”
What do you get with a cow,sheep and a baby goat mixed up?
The milky bar kid!!! lol x ( my fav ) <<<