I Need Some Very Funny Jokes. I Had A Bad Day At School. Help?


This Question From Very Funny Jokes | 10 Answers


school is the absolute worst place ever.
anyybob, give me jokes please, and no websites, just the jokes.
*no clean jokes lmfao* =\

10 Comments so far

  1. Medical Jokes: chelsea! (ms. cena)

    r u sure u want bad ones lol ok then….
    ok there r 3 guys driving
    down the road and a female
    cop pulls them over for speeding
    so the driver says to her “plz dont
    give me a ticket my parents will
    kill me” so she says “alright alright
    if all of u guys d*cks add to be 21
    inches ill let u off with just a warning
    so the first guy shows…his is 11 inches
    then the 2nd is 9 inches and the last 1
    inch so the cop leaves, only giving them
    a warning as she said. so the men continue
    driving as the start talking again the first
    guy comments “hey u guys better be glad
    my was 11 inches long” the 2nd says “yeah
    and that my was 9″ so the last guy looks at
    them both and says “whatever u guy just better
    be glad i was hard”
    haHa i luv that one and
    so the elephant says to the camel “y r both ur
    t*ts on ur back” and the camel replies “thats a
    pretty stupid question comin from someone with
    a limp d*ck on their face”
    haHa =) -chelsea !!

  2. Medical Jokes: My kinds of Vampires

    You had a bad day? I found out my grandpa had 6 months to live- PITY PARTY!
    Anyway-
    A little, 8 year old boy went through is mothers purse, read her drivers liscense, then went up to her, smiling. He said, “Mommy, I know how tall you are,” she said, “Really?” He said, “Yes, you are 6 feet tall.” Then he said, “Mommy, I know when you were you were born, and he told her her birthday.” He said, “Mommy, I know how much you weigh, and he told her she weighed 180 pounds.” Then he smiled the biggest smile of all, the said,” And mommy, I know why you got a divorce.” She said, “Oh really?” He said, “Yah, you got an F in sex.”

  3. Medical Jokes: J. [DOT]

    A Blind Guy walks into a bar and asks “Who wants to hear a blonde joke?”
    the bartender replies “Look, man, I’m blonde, the bodybuilder next to you is blonde…” (hes names a whole bunch of blondies) “…now, do you STILL want to say that joke?”
    the Blind Guy sais “not if i have to repeat it fifity times”
    …………………..
    What is long, hard, and stiff, is used inside a warm, wet place, and gets moved back and forth for the best effect?
    A toothbrush.
    ………………….

  4. Medical Jokes: crazy_wa

    There’s a girl with no arms and no legs. Everyday she sits in a wheelchair on the beach. One day, a man who jogs there saw her crying. “Why are you crying?” he asks. “I’ve never been hugged before.” So the man gave her a hug. The next day, he sees her crying again. “Why are you crying?” he asks again. “I’ve never been kissed before.” So he leans over and gives her a kiss. The next day, she’s crying again. “Why are you crying?” he asks again. “I’ve never been screwed before.” So he picks her up, throws her in the ocean and says, “Now you’re screwed.”

  5. Medical Jokes: I LUV CAPS LOK

    this cop is driving down the road when this red sports car zooms past him. he puts on his siren and pulls it over. when he gets to the car, he sees a really hot blond sitting in the front seat.
    he sais “license and registration” The blonde gives him her lisence and registration.
    He goes over to his car to check her record. He radios in her information. the guy at the other end sais, “wait, is it a really hot blonde driving a red sports car?”
    the cop answers “yes”
    “ok… just go over to the car and stick your dick in the window.” the guy sais.
    the cop sais “but that is highly inappropriate!!! why would i do that???”
    “Just do it,” the guy sais
    So he goes over the car and sticks his dick in the window, and the blonde moans and sais “oh god, not another breathalyzer!!!”

  6. Medical Jokes: V3ND3TA

    Little boy starts at a new school.
    Teacher says, “whats your name?”
    Boy says, “My name is fred they call me red it really pisses me off.”
    Teacher says, “we do not use that kind of language at school, how old are you fred?”
    Fred says, “I am 7 I wish I was 11 it really pisses me off.”
    Teacher says, “I told you we do not use that language at school, go to the principles office.”
    He goes.
    Principle says, “Whats your name son?”
    Fred says, “My name is fred they call me red it really pisses me off.”
    Principle says, “we dont use that kind of language in school, how old are you fred?”
    Fred says,”I am 7 I wish I was 11, it really pisses me off.”
    Principle says, “I just said we do not use that language in school, stand up!”
    She starts to take off her belt.
    She says “you know what this means dont you?”
    Fred says,” Yeah, you wanna twiddle but im too little and it REALLY pisses me off.

  7. Medical Jokes: Zach H

    So we had this hockey tournament last weekend and we won the championship against some team called “Off in the Woods”
    Next day when I went to school the teacher asked me what I did this weekend, and I said “Me and my friends BEAT OFF IN THE WOODS!!”

  8. Medical Jokes: sir galahad

    what the difference between a penis and a bonus?,your wife will always blow your bonus,a bit nawty i know,but you asked,

  9. Medical Jokes: cam

    lol
    what do you say to a women with to black eyes
    nothing you already told her twice

  10. Medical Jokes: TheSlaye

    what did the man say when his dishwasher stopped working?
    get back to work bitc*





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