8 Comments so far

1. derick on September 22, 2009 1:53 pm

   Q What is the difference between God and an orthopedic surgeon
   A God dosn’t think he is an orthopedic surgeon.

2. Cowboy on September 22, 2009 2:49 pm

   There’s a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs sitting by a lake. Several beautiful women are running laps around it and the man decides to use his disability to get affection from one of them. The next time one runs by him, the man calls to her:
   “Excuse me Sweetheart, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you hug me?”
   She looks around to make sure nobody’s watching, leans down, and hugs him.
   The man thinks, “Wow, I can’t believe that worked!”, and decides to try it again.
   Another woman runs by him, and he calls out to her: “Excuse me Darling, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you kiss me?”
   She looks around to make sure nobody is watching, leans down and gives him a kiss.
   The man is amazed at how well this is working out for him!
   The next time a woman runs by, he calls out to her: ” Excuse me Beautiful, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you f**k me?”
   The woman looks around to make sure nobody’s watching her, leans down, picks the man up out of his chair, throws him in the lake and tells him:
   “There… now you’re f**ked!

3. heart4so on September 22, 2009 3:29 pm

   A 50 year old lady asked the Lord how long she would live. He told her that she would live to be 90 years old. So, she decided that if she was going to live that long, she would invest in some plastic surgery. She had her face, breasts, and butt lifted, she had her nose and lips done, and liposuction. As she was leaving the hospital she was crossing the street and was hit by a bus! When the lady arrived in Heaven, she went before the Lord and said, “What happened??? You said that I would live to be 90!” To which the Lord replied, “Sorry, I just didn’t recognize you!”

4. ?Pamela? on September 22, 2009 4:07 pm

   When you are in hospital, don’t let the doctor examine you naked…
   …Make him put his clothes on first!

5. mariolla oneill on September 22, 2009 4:51 pm

   ya ya ya ya u lazy or what?

6. Sheraton, not Hyancith's Son on September 22, 2009 5:29 pm

   see how you like this one:
   One Payday Mr. Peanut wanted a Bit O’Honey, so he took Mary Jane behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and 5th Avenue. He began to feel her Mounds. That was pure Almond Joy. It made her Tootsie Roll. He let out a Snicker as his Butterfinger went up her Juicyfruit and caused a Milky Way. She screamed Oh Henry as she squeezed his Peter Paul and Zagnuts. Mary Jane said,” You are even better than the 3 Musketeers.”
   Soon she was a bit Chunky and nine months later had a Baby Ruth

7. softball on September 22, 2009 5:33 pm

   no but this one time i broke my knee and we were in the hospital sooo long that when a nurse walked my i yelled “CHECK PLEASE” lol (it reminded me of a really bad restaurant)

8. mad as a brush on September 22, 2009 6:10 pm

   woman goes to the doc everytime i pull my pants down my fa**y sings is this the way to amirillo.dont worry says the doc every c**ts singing it