This Question From Nurse Jokes | 13 Answers
im currently nursing a broken heart after losing the love of my life and need cheering up…any good jokes out there? thanks, matthew
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What goes in and out and smells of wee?
a Gypsey doing the hoakey coakey
wanna hear a joke about a pizza?
no it’s too cheesy.
oh and do you wanna hear a joke about butter?
no it’ll spread!!!
aahaha, hope you cheer up x
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, “It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her.”
Adam answered, “Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?” So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.
A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, “Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable.”
And the Lord replied, “Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I’d like you to caress Eve.”
And Adam said, ” ‘What is a ‘caress’? So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.
Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, “‘Lord, that was even better than the kiss.”
And the Lord said, “‘You’ve done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve.”
And Adam asked, “What is ‘make love’ Lord?”‘ So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.
And Adam said, “Lord, what is a ‘headache’?”
Why was 7 scared of 8? because 7 ate 9
Q:how many sound technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A:two
two
one
two
one
two
This isn’t a joke but this video might – I watched it and couldn’t stop laughing for ages haha!
Maybe its just me though . . . have a watch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQicfUjVVqU
What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing, they just waved
A blond Is fighting with her husband.
The husband believes the blond has been cheating on him.
The blond finnally admits to cheating and says she can’t decide between him and her best friend from collage.
The man screams “WELL, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!”
Scared, the blond runs into her room and starts smearing lipstick and other makeup all over her forehead.
The husband says “what are you doing?”
And the blond says “you told me to MAKE UP my mind!!”
6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy
WHAT DID THE ROBBER SAY TO THE MAN ON THE TOILET
GIVE ME ALL YOUR SHIT
dont read this its not good .this drunk staggered into a tavern with a handful of dog sh*t,staggered up to the bartender and said look what i almost stepped in!
A little boy was doing his maths homework.
He said to himself,
“Two plus five, the son of a bitc… is seven.
Three plus six, the son of a bitc… is nine…”
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?”
The little boy answered, “I’m doing my maths homework, Mom.”
“And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked.
“Yes,” he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day,
“What are you
teaching my son in maths?”
The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.”
The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of a bitc… is four?”
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
“What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.”
A woman asks her husband “What would you do if I won the lottery?
He says “take half and then leave you”
She says “I got three numbers, so here’s a fiver, now go pack your bags”