This Question From Quick Jokes | 9 Answers
1. A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new office. He hears someone coming to the door. To impress his first potential client, he picks up the phone as the door opens and says, “I demand one million and not a penny less.” As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, “I’m here to hook up your phone.”
2. A lawyer’s dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The lawyer answers, “Absolutely.” The butcher says, “Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.” The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $20 due for a consultation.
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I liked both of them alot! The second one was kind of predictable but still funny.
The first one is (to me) almost similar to the the joke about the bathing woman mistaking a curtain-installing man for a sightless man as she opens the door without a towel.
LOLL nice ones read some of my jokes:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…
Good ones, I liked the first one the best- ouch, that must have been embarrassing for him!- but the second one is cool too. Thanks for those!
the first one was funney the second one sucked
that’s funny! i love em both!
i like the first one a lot! i don’t get the 2nd one. could u please explain it?
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i just told my mum shes like dont tell your father !!!!
They both are soooo funny!!!! LOL!!! Here’s a couple for you:
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um … No.”
The lawyer interrupts, “or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
“Or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”
The humiliated United Way replied, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”
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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’”
“But why?” asks the man.
“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.