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Now, what’s a pirate minus the ship? Just a creative homeless guy. What’s an anteater plus a giant hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die. And what is domain, domain, range(XXY)? A kid with too much in heshe’s pants. What’s two balls minus one? Seven titles at the Tour de France.
Now, split a decision with long division, added to the circumference of your circumcision. Live like the data and when you’re all set, put it together and use whatever you get. That’s real world math.
Now, what’s a bag of chips divided by five? A Nike workers’ weekly meal. What is Santa Clause multiplied by I? What ever the answer it makes him real. What is the square root of the NBA? Africa in a box. How do you trace a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.
Now, take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion. Live like the data and when you’re all set, put it together and use whatever you get. That’s real world math.
Now, if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my last girlfriend to leave me, you’d have a tree with internet pop up porn. C Al C U LATOR. Figure it out and make it greater. Mathematical minds make industrial smog, and what’s the opposite of ln(x)? Duraflame, the unnatural log.
Now, support the farmers with a pro-tractor, and link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor. Live like the data and when you’re all set, put it together and use whatever you get. That’s real world math.
Now, let’s move to word problems. If there’s a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he’s ready to buy, in order to predict his volume exchange, you’ll need to know the value of pi. If there’s a metal train that’s a mile long, and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her, how long until it reaches and kills the driver, provided he’s a good conductor? If ten percent of men are gay, and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a man chosen at random spends his free time at mealtime while on his knees.
Now, if Kim is half as old as Bobby, who is two years older than twelve year old Tori, for how many more thirty day months will their Mormon relationship be considered statutory rape? Math can be dirty and wrong, too.
Because having sex is like quadratic expansion; if it can’t split then it’s time to stop. Having sex is like doing fractions; It’s improper for the larger one to be on top. Having sex is like math homework, its better when you’re not alone. Squaring numbers is like doing women, if they’re too little just do them in your head. That’s real world math.
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