This Question From Paramedic Jokes | 14 Answers
It’s a long joke, but it’s worth it. It is legendary.
A man went into a pub and overheard another man ask the barman for a packet of crisps, a pint of beer and a green hand. The barman then gave him a packet of crisps and a pint of beer for free.
The man who overheard decided that he would try the same, so he went up to the barman and asked for a packet of crisps, a pint of beer and a green hand. The barman looked furious and said ‘You what!’ and started beating the bloke up, hitting him in the face and tossing him out onto the street. A postman walked past and after looking at the man’s injuries, he asked him what had happened. The man told him how he had gone into the pub and asked for a packet of crisps, a pint of beer and a green hand. The postman shouted ‘What!?’ and started attacking the man with a baseball bat and left him half-dead on the floor. An ambulance came past and a man jumped out and asked what had gone wrong. The man responded by telling him that it all started when he had gone to a pub and asked for a packet of crisps, a pint of beer and a green hand. The paramedic jumped back into the ambulance and started reversing over the man.
A week later, the man woke up in a hospital bed with multiple injuries and broken limbs. The woman lying in a bed opposite his said, ‘You’re awake! I’ve been wanting to know, what exactly happened to you?’ He went on to explain how he had seen a man in a bar and copied him by asking for a packet of crisps, a pint of beer and a green hand. The woman screamed, ‘What did you say!’ She then dived out of her bed and started hitting him round the head with her crutches.
When he recovered, he decided to go on a cruise and on the way, he was offered a beer by one of the waiters. The man, foolishly said, ‘I’ve got an interesting story about a pint of beer. I went into a pub about a month ago and asked for a packet of crisps, a pint of beer and a green hand…’ The waiter smashed the beer bottle over the man’s head and threw him overboard. The man washed up on a deserted island and looked up and saw an ancient man with a huge beard and long hair. The old man said ‘Let me guess, you went into a pub and asked for a packet of crisps, a pint of beer and a green hand.’ The other man said ‘Yes! What I’ve been wondering is, what actually is a green hand?
The old man said, ‘Well what it is, is…’ and then he died.
Surely you’ve got to agree that is a quality joke?
14 Comments so far
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Yes, I love telling this kind of joke!
The one I’ve heard is about a little boy in school who gets passed a note that says “Purple Passions.” The teacher makes him read it out loud, he gets in trouble, blah blah blah, and many years later he has been kicked out of the country when he meets a wise old man, except this man doesn’t know the meaning. But the one across the street does. So the boy is so excited he runs across the street and gets hit by a car and dies. The moral of the story is look both ways before you cross the street.
Here’s another one to think about:
Two rubber ducks are sitting in a bathtub full of Jello. The first duck says to the second duck, “Hey, could you pass the soap?” And the second duck says “What do I look like? A typewriter?”
Lol XD
:S
errrr… well…. no. No its not. I am very confuzzled right now (ie. i am very confused). Could someone PLEASE explain 2 me what “green hand” is please? Then MAYBE if i knew what the funny part was, id find it funny. Do you see where im coming from here??
Why are pirates called pirates??
Because they aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr!!
yet another variation of an old one
It was good until the end.
Im such a blonde I dont get it! Lol
I just really don’t see the funny side…
Or is it just because he is unfortunate?
aww, why ??
i dont get it
Did u hear about Simon Weston winning the lottery last week? He could’nt claim it coz sum1 burnt his coupon…
Frustrating!
I spent all that time reading it and……………….?
what…wheres the punchline…that was not a joke??
yes it is a really good joke….some people are stupid.
Its not a good joke at all. Its just an intresting story. Whats the punchline?
And a pack of crisps and a pint of bear and a green hand is-dies-
Nah im jk. Crisps relaxation. Beer is a glove. And green hand is a dirty hand. Glove-Dirty hand-relaxation=Master Bait—and fish. It actually means dirty whore/basturd.