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Friend invited other people I don’t know. Rude or not?
Filed in The Category Rude Jokes
So I was going out with my bffl who does not go to my school and it was supposed to be just me and her but then she invited these three guys from her school that I had like never met before so i sort of felt like wtf. And it was kinda akward cuz they all had all these inside jokes and stuff and so i was like whatevs and went home and then i told my other bffl and she was like nah and i was like yeah and she was like yeah and i was like nah and so i dunno like don’t you reckon that it was heaps bad cuz we hadn’t even seen each other in like ages but we call each other every night. And also she wasn’t going to invite them but one called and asked if they could come over and she was to scared to say no.
I Just Had To Ask…Why Does Anyone Care About The Grammar On Yahoo.Is Everyone Scholars?
Filed in The Category Quick Jokes
What could possibly be wrong with everyone..Who cares if the English is correct?Why is it such a big deal.. People scan for hours to see what questions they can find to answer ,yet they cannot answer anything in an intellectual way but they are so quick to correct someone’s grammar.I have been on computers far longer than most of you .. I was on them before home computers.I have never criticized anyone for their use of the language and now the English language has been so butchered by the use of short cuts on cellular phones ..What I want to know ..who gives a royal crap .. I mean really .If you can’t read between the lines and know whats being said don’t bother..You are insulting people and hurting their feelings because you don’t have the intelligence to see a need or answer a question nor the decency to avoid conflict because of a typo..I miss the old days when only smart people could use computers.People always apologized about spelling.I had a joke that i said I spoke fluent typo
This is suppose to be fun and entertaining but the morons that have to make rude comments ruins it for everyone.. Why can’t you make light of it and if you don’t have anything good to say just shut up?
Funny or what ????
Filed in The Category Gynecology Jokes
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Funny or what ????
No translation to how understand this joke will be provided !!
In the middle of a gynecology conference, an English and a French gynecologist are discussing various cases they have recently treated.
The French gynecologist said, “Only last week, zer was a woman ooh came to see me, and ‘er cleetoris – et was like a melon!”
The English gynecologist replied, “Don’t be absurd, it could not have been that big, my good man, she could not have been able to walk if it was.”
To which the French gynecologist responded, “Aaah, you Eenglish, zare you go again, always talkeeng about ze size … I was talkeeng about ze flavour.”
3 minutes ago – 3 days left to answer.
one of my jokes were rude, but as a 41yr old woman myself, i thought it was funny,?
Filed in The Category Rude Jokes
so whatever old dried up prune reported me, GO GET A LIFE, bet i get thrown off now, BYE everybody, nice knowing you 
JOKE FOR YOU – star if funny please?
Filed in The Category Dentist jokes
Man wakes up feeling horny ! nudges wife , shall we get it on babe ?? no she says, got gynecologist appointment in morning ,you know I dont like sex before seeing him !! husband says ok ! wakes up again a few minutes later and says you ain’t got a dentist appointment as well tomorrow have you ????
Here are some jokes………?
Filed in The Category Doctor Jokes
Once there was a family who was given some venison by a friend. The wife cooked up the deer steaks, and served it to the husband and children. The husband thought it would be fun to have the children guess what it was that they were eating.
“Is is beef?” The daughter Katie asked.
“Nope.”
“Is it pork?” the son Willie asked.
“Nope.”
“Heck, we don’t know, Dad!” Willie exclaimed.
“I’ll give you a clue,” the Dad said, “It’s what your mom sometimes calls me.”
“Spit it out, Willie!” cried Katie, “We’re eating Asshole!!”
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.”
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nodded, “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.”
“From hunger, you mean?”, asked the doctor.”
“No, from all that skipping.”
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on.
Finally he went to the check-out line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who I haven’t seen in a long time.”
“That’s a shame,” replied the young man, “is there anything I can do for you?”
“Yes,” she said, “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother!’? It would make me feel so much better.”
“Sure,” answered the young man. So, when the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye, Mother!”
As he stepped up to the check-out counter, he saw that his total was 7.50. “How can that be?” he asked, “I only purchased a few things!”
The clerk replied, “Your mother said that you would pay for her.”
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says, “Not yet.”
A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, “Not yet.”
Finally they say, “When can we see the baby?”
And the mother says, “When the baby cries.”
So they ask, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?”
The new mother says, “I forgot where I put it.”
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The busdriver said: “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
“The bus driver insulted me,” she fumed.
The man sympathized and said “Why, he’s a public servant and shouldn’t say things to insult passengers.”
“You’re right,” she said. “I think I’ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.”
“That’s a good idea,” the man said. “Here, let me hold your monkey.”
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
“Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that. Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.” The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.”
The boy leans over to her and whispers, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”
Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away.”
The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, “Why don’t you go home for the day…we aren’t terribly busy. Just take
the day off and go relax.”
Sally very calmly states, “No I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here.”
The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. “If you need anything just let me know” says the boss.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.
He rushes over an asks, “What’s the matter now? Are you going to be ok?”
Sally breaks down in tears. “I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!”
I love him, but so many things get in the way of a good relationship? (repost in LGBT section)?
Filed in The Category Surgery Jokes
My boyfriend (born a girl, has wanted to be male his whole life, and wants surgery when old enough) lives with his mum (we are teenagers), and she is one of the most uncooperative people you could meet. She sits on the couch all day, eats sweets, and watches TV, then complains about being tired. She doesn’t even have a job, and just makes money from the occassional painting she does. She had an angina attack (a lesser form of a heart attack) a few months ago, which really upset my boyfriend, but she never does anything about her health, and is always moody and angry at him.
She will never drive my boyfriend 20 minutes to meet me at my house. The rare cases when I can spend time with him is when my mum drives me there and picks me up later. I’m on my 6 week break from school, and I am barely going to see him at all. Neither of our parents know about our relationship or our sexuality, I am pansexual, and as said, my boyfriend is transgender. In fact, nobody knows about us, apart from one very close friend. Although a few people have been spreading the fact I am pansexual around our school.
Another thing that gets in the way is his friends. In particular, one of his friends, who is a girl, and already has a boyfriend. She’s fun and flirtasious, and has handshakes and inside-jokes with my boyfriend. She never talks to me, unless it’s a snide comment.
On my birthday, for example, it was a Friday at school, and it was boiling hot. I was feeling sick because of the heat, and she said ‘Hm, must be her time of the month.’ That was the only thing she said to me all day. She never says hi to me in the mornings, and just talks to my boyfriend, she once even interrupted a conversation we were having and didn’t even say sorry. When she and him are talking, I feel drained and useless, as though he would be better off if I wasn’t there
Me and him have a close relationship and have been friends for 3 and a half years. We have been going out for 1 and a half of those years. We tell eachother everything, and really, genuinely, love each other. We talk about moving to America, getting married after he’s had surgery to make him 100% male.
But I’m sick of this! I love my boyfriend but I hate his friends and family! What do I do?
By special request pt 2?
Filed in The Category Dentist jokes
Q. Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A. To get to the second hand shop.
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Q. Why did the picture go to jail?
A. Because it was framed.
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Q. What are two things you cannot have for breakfast?
A. Lunch and dinner.
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Q. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
A. So he could have sweet dreams.
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Q. Why did the robber take a bath?
A. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
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Q. What did the judge say to the dentist?
A. Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
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Q. What do you call a bear with no socks on?
A. Bare-foot.
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Q. What can you serve but never eat?
A. A volleyball.
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Q. What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?
A. No thank you, I am stuffed.
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Q. What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
A. Sneakers.
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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall?
A. I’ll meet you at the corner.
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Q. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A. So he could tie the score.
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Q. Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin?
A. They both depend on the batter.
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Q. What did the alien say to the garden?
A. Take me to your weeder.
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Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Q. How do baseball players stay cool?
A. Sit next to their fans.
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Q. What gets wetter the more it dries?
A. A towel.
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Q. Why was the math book sad?
A. Because it had too many problems.
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Q. What runs but doesn’t get anywhere?
A. A refrigerator.
Chris Brown, Still A Fan?
Filed in The Category Nurse Quotes
Ok so i have just been googling the whole thing about his arrest and alleged beating of Rihanna and every website is saying different things!
I ignored the Rumers and it seems that… coments and so far this is what i have come up with!
An official Police Statement did not name the woman in question but they say she suffered visible injuries……
Although now it seems yes it was Rihanna (witness reports)
copied from web:
“It was some time after 12PM PST [Sunday] and I had been waiting in the ER department corridor when Rihanna was brought through the back entrance on a gurney, flanked by two LAPD officers. It was impossible to know it was her at first because when they wheeled her past me, she had the hood on her fuchsia-colored sweatshirt tightly drawn round her face and she was wearing big brown sunglasses. They took her into room 14 which was opposite me. It had a six-foot glass door but the nurses drew a privacy curtain around it.”
“I knew the person was famous because of all the attention she was being given by security and medical staff. However, they didn’t draw the curtain all the time and I was finally able to make out that the woman they had brought in was Rihanna. She was lying in bed. While the two police officers waited outside, Rihanna was seen by the doctor. When he left, a plain clothes officer in a mismatched suit went in.
I figured he was a detective because I saw the handcuffs in his belt. He stayed in there for about an hour.”
“When he left, Rihanna’s two female assistants went in to see her and a private security guard stood outside. The police officers were given room 10 to use which was close to Rihanna’s.
“Rihanna was clearly very upset by what had happened and I could hear her screaming. Rihanna was trying to get her point across about something, she sounded like she was crying as she tried to get to put her point across.”
“Her staff was also very shaken by what had happened. Later on I saw one of the assistants crying into the shoulder of the security guard. I left at 4pm, happy to get out of the place, something terrible had clearly happened to Rihanna.”
Brown was booked Sunday night on a charge of making criminal threats and was later released on ,000 bail. Police say he remains under investigation for felony charges of domestic assault. He is scheduled to appear in court on March 5th.
A publicist for Rihanna would only issue this statement: “Rihanna is well. Thank you for concern and support.”
Ok so whats your views??Personally i love Chris Brown and i was at his concert in the 02 dublin in Jan and it was superb…….but its not that i dont still lik him but i dont know what to think like i have bben reading comments on the gossip sites and some people are like il love you know matter what,some are saying disturbing things such as she deserved what she got keep beating chris…..and some are like i dont understand why he did it.
I Will also add that the fight is rumored to have started over a text message chris got while in the car, about hooking up and the other theory is that its because rihanna gave him herpes nobody knows but apparently she then threw his keys out off the window, He was furious pulled over and the fight escalated from there!
Another quote from a website
Cops say a message from a woman who wrote about hooking up with Brown may have played a role in triggering the argument. However, there’s also a reference in the police report to an argument over a rapper, but this is NOT the woman who texted Brown.
In any case, Chris Brown pulled his rented Lamborghini to the side of a street in L.A.’s Hancock Park area. That was when Rihanna allegedly grabbed the car keys and tossed them out the window, sending Brown into a blinding rage.
He tried in vain to find the keys, then came back to the car, put his hands around her neck and, according to the insider, said, “I’m going to kill you!”
Anyhows people what to you think??
also if you have further updates more info ect that would be great!
thanks guys xX
ok sorry its soooo long just telling some facts!! by the way i love CB TOO!XXX
ok sorry its soooo long just telling some facts!! by the way i love CB TOO!XXX
Oh by the way i didnt write all that out its copied from websites lol!
root canal?
Filed in The Category Dentist jokes
i recently got a hit in the mouth by mistake (joke went wrong)and knocked my tooth back into my mouth, now it didnt come away from the gum and i was able to push it back to where it was but it doesnt quite sit right since and having trouble eating, i have been to a dentist who has told me the nerve is gone in the tooth and i need a root canal.
my question is are they sore, i’m going on holiday in 2 weeks so will have half done before i go and the rest when i get back as the tooth is going grey really quick. will it be ok while i’m out there cause i’ll be away for 2 weeks.?
i know the tooth is not alive after the root canal but what keeps it from falling out or going rotten in my mouth??
Two Jokes for you. Hope you enjoy it?
Filed in The Category Doctor Jokes
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, he doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.”
“Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him.”
“Don’t burden him with chores, as this could further his stress. Don’t discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of backrubs.”
“Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health.”
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, “What did the doctor say?”
“You’re going to die,” she replied.
LOL my second joke is well too long i will post again
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080325110014AA1Cnbi&pa=FYd1D2bwHTHzJLxiEuI7QDoIPf2D.fEmc3pvyXNUvs8y7A–&paid=asked&msgr_status=
second joke
Physician or Engineer?
Filed in The Category Plastic Surgery Jokes
I asked this question earlier,but as a result of being in a rush,my spelling and other key structures in the English Language were of an atrocious standard.I apologise to everyone who had to attempt a read of it,it was really bad!
Anyway,moving on.I am privately educated and I recently received my GCSE results,I will not include the details of all of these results as it subjected me to scorn,and many doubted my credibility,I will however provide the Information you need to work with; I achieved an A* in all of the science based disciplines,meaning Mathematics,Physics,Biology and Chemistry.I am interested in these subjects to a high degree,and especially Chemistry and Biology.This is exactly what makes this area of study and subsequent career choice a very difficult one.Down below I will outline the advantages,disadvantages and overall concern I have in these two areas,and I will hopefully present them in a format that allows for them to be compared.
Physician: Overview:The medical field is of great interest to me,especially that of plastic/cosmetic surgery.I am particularly interested in the face and related surgical procedures such as Epicanthoplasty and Rhinoplasty,as some examples.
Advantages:High job security,great career progression opportunity and perhaps less importantly,it allows for high income potential.Even more importantly to me,however is the fact this area of science is of great interest to me,as I mentioned earlier.
Disadvantages: Achieving a position in the medical sector will merit a very long time in education,at the high school level,degree level and especially during teaching at the stage of residency.All together this could warrant 12 or more years in education,proceeding high school.
Engineering: Overview:Engineering interests me slightly less than the Medical field in its raw form,however the results and invention as a result of engineering practise and theories are astonishing,and this is where the field of Engineering,specifically Chemical Engineering grabs my attention.
Disadvantages:The field of Engineering,in the raw form does not interest me perhaps as much as it should,this may cast a large metaphoric shadow over my ability to complete any course in relation to Engineering.Another concern is the dynamics of Chemical Engineering,in a changing world.At the moment the speciality of petroleum Engineering is of great interest,even when considering the dangerous,political failures I may have to work in.The field of clean and renewable Energy does not quite interest me as much as the forms of energy we use now do..Essentially my biggest block on this field is perhaps lack of interest in many areas of Engineering,and increasingly less demand for the area(S) I am currently interested in.
Advantages: Upon the baby boomers(Generation 139) finally all retiring,there is predicted to be a huge gap in the market,and subsequent demand for Engineers,in the western world.This major event in employment dynamics in this area means job prevalence is likely to be huge,job security high and large personal,economic gain becomes a very likely reality.But my ability to capitalise on this change will depend on the course of speciality I take,if any.
I hope my English was a lot better than the standard I posted earlier,I again apologise and if I have any spelling or Grammatical mistakes in this version,I would have to attribute this to being a teenager,in the current world of text shortening,and general bad spelling lol (sorry,I could not think of a word to express the fact I was joking).
equally writes today jokes?
Filed in The Category Doctor Jokes
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, “I have to tell you something about your baby.”
The woman sits up in bed and says, “What’s wrong with my baby, Doctor? What’s wrong???”
The doctor says, “Well, now, nothing’s wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite.”
The woman says, “A hermaphrodite… what’s that???”
The doctor says, “Well, it means your baby has the…er… features…of a male and a female.”
The woman turns pale. She says, “Oh my god! You mean it has a penis…AND a brain?”
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