Read The Newest Jokes - Hahaaa
Whats this guys problem: He’s Medical Doctor who makes jokes about patients getting Misdiagnosed & Mistreated?
Filed in The Category Medical Jokes
by Doctors and how Doctors cover up their Malpractice so they can never be sued. This Doctor is also Very Arogant he’ll never admit he or a friend did something wrong. This Doctor only does it amongst friends. This Doctor also has a very high Income.
This Doctor only Talks like this amongst friends.
evening all a quick few jokes before i head out to work?
Filed in The Category Quick Jokes
Harry met Sandy at a nightclub one evening, and she finally invited him back to her apartment to spend the night. Her roommate was out of town, so this was the perfect opportunity.
The couple went back to her house, and after a few minutes the pair proceeded into Sandy’s bedroom. When Harry walked through the door he immediately noticed all of these stuffed animals.
There were hundreds of them – stuffed toys on top of the wardrobe, stuffed toys on the bookshelf and stuffed toys on the window sill. There were more on the floor, and of course, stuffed toys all over the bed.
They cleared off the bed, jumped in, and went at it. Later, after the sex, Harry turned to Sandy and asked, “Well … How was I?”
Sandy replied, “Well, you can pick anything from the bottom shelf.”
Awwww dont you just love the cartoon characters?
Filed in The Category Medical Cartoons
In a Feb. 8 program, the Hamas-controlled Gaza television channel Al-Aksa introduced a third cartoon animal mascot for its campaign of resistance against Israelis, according to a February dispatch in London’s Daily Mail. Following “Farfur” (a Mickey Mouse look-alike who, according to the storyline, was eventually assassinated by an Israeli soldier) and “Nahul” (a bee who was killed when he could not get medical treatment after an Israeli attack), the new character is “Assud,” a Bugs Bunny look-alike who does not say, “What’s up, Doc?” but rather, “I will eat Jews.” [Haaretz, 2-13-08; Independent Media Review Analysis (Kfar Sava, Israel), 2-11-08]
A few short jokes = funny or not?
Filed in The Category X-ray Jokes
Doctor: “I’ve got very bad news – you’ve got cancer and Alzheimer’s”
Patient: “Well, at least I don’t have cancer”
“My doctor told me to take something for my cold.”
“What did you take?”
“His Coat!”
Wife: Doctor My husband thinks he’s a satellite dish.
Doctor: Don’t worry I can cure him.
Wife: I don’t want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel.
Bob to X-ray technician after swelling some money:
“Do you see any change in me?”
Nurse: Doctor, the man you’ve just treated collapsed on the front step what should I do?
Doctor: Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
He’s fully recovered.
A mother complained to her doctor about her daughters strange eating habits. “All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?
“Eventually” said the Doctor, “she will rise and shine!”
more jokes for you i hope you enjoy these 1s too :p?
Filed in The Category Veterinarian Jokes
1.It was the first day of a new school year.
Three boys arrive at class late and the teacher asks the first boy “Why are you tardy,” the boy replies “I’ve been on Blueberry Hill” the teacher said “Take your seat.”
She asks the next boy why he was late. “I was on Blueberry Hill also” he replied.
Then she asked the third boy, but he replied with the same answer.
As the boys we’re sitting down a girl arrives in.
“Let me guess”, said the teacher. “You where on Blueberry Hill also”
“NO…. I am Blueberry Hill” replied the girl.
2.A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight.”
The woman says, “So do I. You’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”
3.Doctor Bob had sex with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
Every once in a while, however, he’d hear that soothing voice, within himself, trying to reassure him: “Bob, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients, and you won’t be the last. And you’re single. Let it go.”
But invariably another voice would bring him back to reality: “Bob, you’re a veterinarian!”
4.What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner?
He smashed his his nose.
5.What’s the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
I need some funny quick jokes?
Filed in The Category Quick Jokes
Y’know, those type of jokes that are really short but make you laugh really really hard? (:
Prison v housewives?
Filed in The Category Medical Cartoons
In prison, you get three square meals a day.
At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.
In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.
At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can’t sleep without his latest lego creation.
In prison, you get to watch TV, cable even.
At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.
In prison, you can read whatever you want and attend college for free.
At home, you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.
In prison, all your medical care is free.
At home, you have to pawn your mother’s silver and fill out trillions of papers for insurance and hope the doctor will see you before you die.
In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up.
At home, you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.
In prison, you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang out in your own space all day.
At home, you get to clean your space and everyone else’s space, too, and what the heck is free time again?
In prison, you get your own personal toilet.
At home, you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you’re done so you can do something for them.
In prison, the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes.
At home, you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else’s, and get yelled at because somebody’s favorite shirt isn’t clean.
In prison, they take you everywhere you need to go.
At home, you take everybody else where they need to go.
In prison, the guards transport all your personal effects for you and make sure nothing is missing.
At home, you have to lug around everybody else’s stuff in your purse and then wonder who went in it and took your last dollar.
In prison, there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn’t.
At home….stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?
Doctor Joke. (tonight Is Doctor Night.)?
Filed in The Category Doctor Jokes
A 97 year old man goes into his doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.”
“Sir”, replied the doctor, “You’re 97. Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?”
“You’re darn right it is!” replied the old man. “That’s why I want it lowered!”
Can Anyone Suggest A Good Plastic Surgeon In Columbus,ohio ?
Filed in The Category Plastic Surgery Jokes
That reconstructs microtic ears ?
I’m 15 and my surgeon was going to do part one where they take cartilage from your rib and use that to fix the ear. Before the surgery started, the ansesthesiologist stuck a tube down the wrong lung and something made them uneven.
SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY.
JOKE ANSWERS WILL BE REPORTED.
THANKS
Like This Blonde Joke?
Filed in The Category Veterinarian Jokes
The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise.
“You need to make sure this dog runs around,” the doctor said.
“Try playing a game of fetch.”
“I can’t play fetch with my dog,” the blonde said.
“Why not?” the doctor asked.
“Because,” she replied, “He can’t throw.”
Doctors And Nurses Joke?
Filed in The Category Nurse Jokes
A woman brings eight year old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight year old daughter.
Johnny’s mother says: “Let’s not be too harsh on them. They are bound to be curious about sex at that age.”
“Curious about sex?!” Replies Mary’s mother. “He’s taken her fu***ng appendix out!”
Help Identifying A Film?
Filed in The Category X-ray Jokes
I remember watching this film as a kid and recently saw a clip of it on TV. It’s basically about a bloke in his 20’s or 30’s with a mullet and crazy *** dress sense who happens across some x-ray specs. When he puts them on, he can see through the skin of all these bad secret society type people and when he watches TV, he can see all these subliminal messages. At first he thinks it’s a joke but soon realises it’s not. One scene in particular I can recall is when he is watching TV in a public place and when he puts the x-ray specs on, the guy on the TV, who is giving a speech, has a skeleton head and the word ‘Obey’ behind him in black and white. Please help with this it’s been doing my head in for bloody ages!! Cheers
Doctor Joke Lol?
Filed in The Category Doctor Jokes
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman’s vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital.
When they got there the doctor said, “The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out.”
The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, “Hey, what the hell is going on?”
The doctor says, “Change of plans — I’m going to drown the bastard.”
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