This Question From Rude Jokes | 9 Answers
just tell me a rude joke or a real good pick u line (:
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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:
“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”
Couple was broke and decided the wife should turn a few tricks.The husband stayed in the car while the wife was on the corner.
1st john pulls up and asked how much for regular sex?
woman said wait just one minute.
Goes back to husband and asked how much for regular sex
Husband said oh charge 20$
2nd john pulls up and asked how much to take you up the back side?
woman said wait just one minute
asked husband how much to take me up back side
husband said oh charge 30$
3rd john pulls up,pulls out a his very large penis and asked how much for sex?
woman said wait just one minute
woman goes back to husband and says let me have that 50$
What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?
Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear.
What’s the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.
A lady asks “What are you dressed as?”
He says a fireman!
You break the glass, pull the knob and I’ll *** as fast as I can.
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, “Anything you say can and will be Held against you.”
He replies “BREASTS.” >>>
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It’s $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I’ll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.
Love thy neighbor all through the day… but first make sure her husband’s away!
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, “Holy **** it’s hot in here!” The other muffin says, “Holy ****… A talking muffin!”
I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming?
Husband says; “When I’m gone you’ll never find another man like me”.
Wife replied; “What makes you think I’d want another man like you!”
Saying You resemble some one and going on and on about how ugly that person is. HaHa.
why are you so grumpy tonight i don’t want to know if you did not get enough c.ck or hen.[where was your mind,take it out of the gutter,i was talking about chicken]
Hmm…
I lost my number. Can I have yours?
you
that was a “pick u” line