The Best Nursing Home Joke Ever!!!! (rude!!!)?

This Question From Nurse Jokes | 30 Answers


QUESTION:

Ethel loved to speed in her wheelchair and charge around the nursing
home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on
the long corridors.
Because the poor woman was a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, the
other residents tolerated her, and some of the male residents actually
joined in her games.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and
Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. “Stop”, he
shouted in a firm voice. “Have you got a licence for that thing?”
Ethel fished in her handbag, and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held
it up to him. “OK” he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold
popped out in front of her and shouted “Stop, have you got proof of
insurance?”
Ethel dug deep in her handbag and produced a drink coaster and held it
up to him. Harold nodded and said “Carry on, ma’am”.
As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig
stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable
erection in his hand.
“Good grief”, said Ethel, “Not the breathalyzer again”.

30 Comments so far

  1. Loader20 on January 15, 2010 3:10 pm

    Very Very Funny, have star for cheering up my Monday morning.

  2. Tracey on January 15, 2010 3:35 pm

    hahahahahahahahaha

  3. Generale on January 15, 2010 4:09 pm

    LMFAO

  4. Too tired to go to sleep on January 15, 2010 5:03 pm

    Lol. That’s just sick and wrong. ha ha ha

  5. dwaynewa on January 15, 2010 5:54 pm

    weird…

  6. smurfnbe on January 15, 2010 6:17 pm

    OMG…thats funny.. lol..

  7. Irish Princess on January 15, 2010 6:50 pm

    hahahaha made me laugh!!!

  8. Sparkles on January 15, 2010 6:52 pm

    HOO Yah, this is pretty darn funny!LOL

  9. lurchthi on January 15, 2010 7:04 pm

    ha ha ha ha ha……………………………….

  10. mistymis on January 15, 2010 7:13 pm

    Heard it before, but still found it very funny 11/10.
    Hey, don’t you think the story would make a good film? But, would it be classed as drama or what. Just a thought.

  11. x Adele x on January 15, 2010 7:31 pm

    lmfao!

  12. AFI_spar on January 15, 2010 7:58 pm

    xDD heard something similar before, but this is much better. star for you

  13. C.A.S. on January 15, 2010 8:38 pm

    Lol!!! That’s so rude and yet so funny! lol. Star for you!

  14. Venomous Doll on January 15, 2010 9:17 pm

    hahaahahahahaa!! Dirty B@stard!!!!!

  15. Moonie on January 15, 2010 9:43 pm

    Hahahahahahahaha…
    Pretend I’m still laughing.

  16. chicabab on January 15, 2010 10:39 pm

    That is soooo funny! I hope the residents where I work dont do that!

  17. written on January 15, 2010 11:36 pm

    Ok take this from a person who just got DONE working in the nursing home…sick. Espcially since there are an Ethel and a Craig resident…ahhhh bad visual!

  18. Lekkers on January 16, 2010 12:13 am

    Rude but hey that’s a stunner

  19. London Boi! on January 16, 2010 12:44 am

    haha, thats gross!

  20. yummycoo on January 16, 2010 1:33 am

    gross but still funny. good job

  21. supergee on January 16, 2010 1:40 am

    Haha, that is so bad.
    And yet so great

  22. basil brush on January 16, 2010 2:07 am

    ha!ha!ha!ha!ha! it is rude but it is very funny gets 10/10

  23. natasha * on January 16, 2010 2:46 am

    That was hilarious!

  24. ?haggisb on January 16, 2010 3:43 am

    hahaha, very funny, PMSL!!!

  25. ???g gï?l? on January 16, 2010 4:07 am

    hahahaha

  26. Rachiiee on January 16, 2010 4:38 am

    OMG hahahaha. that was funny as

  27. lenmac71 on January 16, 2010 5:35 am

    awesome

  28. Squirrel on January 16, 2010 6:29 am

    LOL!
    :) xx

  29. Labyrint on January 16, 2010 6:58 am

    HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  30. bagpusst on January 16, 2010 6:59 am

    LMAO. Star for you! ;-)




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