Three Quick Jokes, Not New, Just For A Laugh?

This Question From Quick Jokes | 29 Answers


QUESTION:

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, “Doc, Doc, I can’t feel my legs!”
The doctor replied,
“I know you can’t, I’ve cut
off your arms”.
An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she
returned to her daughter’s house later that night, she seemed upset. “What
happened, Mother?” the daughter asked.
“I had to slap his face three times!”
“You mean he got fresh?”
“No,” she answered, “I thought he was dead!”
One day an Englishman, an American, and a Scotsman walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Labatt Blue. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in each of their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing happened. The Scotsman picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, “SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT”

29 Comments so far

  1. speedy on January 11, 2010 1:55 am

    all good cowboy but we dont shake em we give em a good suck make sure we got it all 10/10

  2. G*I*M*P on January 11, 2010 2:01 am

    the last one was hilarious. not convinced about the other 2!!

  3. mata123 on January 11, 2010 2:15 am

    Spit it out!! that’s good 8/10

  4. Brillian on January 11, 2010 3:01 am

    I’d only heard the 3rd. I liked the first the best
    lol

  5. allseaso on January 11, 2010 3:47 am

    Oldies, but goodies Cowboy
    Just like us! (I said laughing)

  6. The BudMiester on January 11, 2010 4:16 am

    HA HA HA, HEHEHEH, hohoho! They`re good `uns!

  7. M T on January 11, 2010 5:14 am

    ive never heard the third one. its great!!!!!!!

  8. Silent on January 11, 2010 5:24 am

    LOL…… thanks for a laugh and sharing……

  9. Kanis on January 11, 2010 6:08 am

    lol

  10. happy trucker on January 11, 2010 6:51 am

    Thanks for the laugh I’ve never heard them before 10 out of 10

  11. sickcras on January 11, 2010 7:48 am

    That last one was the funniest. I loved it. Thanks for the laugh. Good job. 10/10

  12. augy30 on January 11, 2010 8:33 am

    just for lought , its boring already ma daily consume

  13. LoVeLy on January 11, 2010 8:42 am

    the first and third are good…thanx

  14. MacLeod_ on January 11, 2010 9:41 am

    Awesome- that last one was especially good!

  15. ?Amanda? on January 11, 2010 10:40 am

    Good ones! Love the last one!

  16. **ZARA** on January 11, 2010 10:51 am

    good
    good
    great, lol

  17. scottish football .nuff said on January 11, 2010 11:21 am

    …..the first one was the best one…..lol

  18. blondie on January 11, 2010 12:05 pm

    Awwww mean! Im welsh from Swansea and i like the scots! Hehe. The jokes were good though. It put a smile on my face tonight.

  19. Fallen Angel on January 11, 2010 12:34 pm

    the last one was cool. its funny.
    thanks for he laugh! i seriously needed it. im so bored these days!

  20. bootygir on January 11, 2010 1:15 pm

    I heard the last one already – but they were still funny! :)

  21. Queen Bee on January 11, 2010 1:22 pm

    a ginger and a blond standing on a cliff,
    ginger says to the blonde “Wow can you see that beautiful reforest over there?”
    the blonde says “Na i can’t see through the trees!”
    lol
    hahah
    Funny?

  22. Future Sailor on January 11, 2010 1:59 pm

    youve really made my day, i had a good giggle!!!!

  23. ???Summe on January 11, 2010 2:08 pm

    lol 3 jokes that deserved 3 laughs, bravo!

  24. SUZANNE R on January 11, 2010 3:02 pm

    the last one was funny!!xx

  25. a_word_o on January 11, 2010 3:26 pm

    the last one was funny!!

  26. it's me!!!!!!! on January 11, 2010 4:06 pm

    thank you,you are too sweet you made me feel good after a hard day……….thank you

  27. glitters on January 11, 2010 4:31 pm

    hahahahahahahaha! that was hilarious dude, good job.

  28. Samantha on January 11, 2010 4:41 pm

    Ain’t nothin’ wrong with oldies. That last one was funny… :-)

  29. blueeyed on January 11, 2010 5:23 pm

    I really liked these especially the one about the beer and the flies.thanks for the laugh.



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