This Question From Paramedic Jokes | 6 Answers
An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang.
It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, “Treacle, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!”
“It’! s not just one car!” said the Essex girl, “There’s hundreds of them!”
Another Essex girl is involved in a serious crash, there’s blood everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she’s lying flat
out on the floor.
Medic: “OK, I’m going to check if you’re concussed.”
Girl: “OK.”
Medic: “OK the how many fingers am I putting up?”
Girl: “Oh my God! I’m paralysed from the waist down!”
Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.
She says, “Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your wellies ‘ave an L on it and the uva one’s got an R on it?”
So the Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, “Well, oim a little bit thick you see. The one with the R on it is for me roight foot and the one with the L is for me left foot.”
“Cor blimey! ,” exclaims the Essex girl, “So THAT’S why me knickers ‘ave got C&A on them.”
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i like the first one and the 3rd ones ok i dont understand the second 1 thou..
And they used to say that the old ones were the best.
So wrong….:) As for not understanding the second one, its x-rated, no chillens allowed
A London lawyer runs a stop sign & gets pulled over by a Glasgow cop.
He thinks he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education than any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself & have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!
Glesga cop says, ‘ Licence and registration, please.’
London Lawyer: ‘What for?’
Glesga cop: ‘Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.’
London Lawyer: ‘I slowed down, and no one was coming.’
Glesga cop: ‘Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please.’
London Lawyer: ‘What’s the difference?’
Glesga cop: ‘The difference is, ye huvtae to come to complete stop, that’s the law, Licence and registration, please!’
London Lawyer: ‘If you can show me the difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.’
Glesga cop: ‘Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.’
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Glesga cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living daylights out of the lawyer and says,
‘Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?’
ahh essex jokes when you just can’t laugh at anyone else
Essex jokes funny ?
An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.
“How many children?” Asks the council worker
“10″ replies the Essex girl
“10???” says the council worker.. “What are their names?”
“Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and
Wayne”
Doesn’t that get confusing?”
“Naah…” says the Essex girl “its great because if they are out
playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER’S READY or
WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it…”
“What if you want to speak to one individually?” says the perturbed
council worker.
“That’s easy,” says the girl… “I just use their surnames”