5 Comments so far

1. Medical Jokes: Peachy Perfect

   Two muffins were baking in an oven. One turns to the other one and says “Man, it’s getting hot in here.” The second one looks at him and screams “OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!!!”
   Also:
   What’s brown and sticky?
   A stick.
   ____
   EDIT: AHHHH THE RETURN OF THE DREADED PING PONG BALL JOKE!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2. Medical Jokes: §???h?#???v? ß?†?š §?m†?m?š?

   Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to
   Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
   Subject: Problems with my new computer
   Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
   We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
   1. There is a button ‘start’ but there is no ‘stop’ button. We request you to check this..
   2. One doubt is whether any ‘re-scooter’ is available in system? I find only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.
   3. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘find’ button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
   4. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft sentence’, so when you will provide that?
   5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon, which shows ‘My Computer’: when you will providethe remaining items?
   6. It is surprising that windows say ‘MY Pictures’ but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
   7. There is ‘MICROSOFT OFFICE’ what about ‘MICROSOFT HOME’ since I use the PC at home only.
   8. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past Documents’?
   9. You provide ‘My Network Places’. For God sake please do not provide ‘My Secret Places’. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
   Regards,
   Banta
   Singh
   Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
   Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

3. Medical Jokes: im bored

   YOUR MAMA’S SO STUPID SHE BROUGHT A SPOON TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…

4. Medical Jokes: dodgers

   why was white chocolate invented
   so black kids could get messy too!!
   im not racist! my friend told it to me!

5. Medical Jokes: Cordelia Sparkles.

   Okay so…the joke of the three green ping pong balls.
   There was once a young boy who lived in an extremely rich family. The son was reaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll… clever and manipulative. He kept getting F- on his school reports, because he didn’t put any effort in them at all. One day his parents were tired of him getting F’s, so they said, “Son, if you pass this next test, I’ll give you any material item in the world.” The son smiled.
   “Sure.” he said with a sly grin.
   The Dad didn’t trust him. The Dad’s name was George btw. He owns a few large companies, was head of a few corperations. Really good business man. He was married to Mary. Typical Mary Sue character, no one cares. Anyway.. so the next test sped towards the son, he hadn’t prepared when he found it was the day of the test. He didn’t seem worried. He went to school and came home with a….
   A++++.
   The Dad smiled at him. Alot.
   Mum stuck the report on the fridge and photocopied it and sent it to her friends. She was happy too, I guess.
   The father asked his son, “Sonny, what do you want?”
   He replied, “Three green ping pong balls.”
   “Uhh.. ok.”
   The dad pulled three green ping pong balls out of his pocket and gave them to his son.
   The son’s smile was bright and happy. He rushed to his room.
   Soon the next test at school happened the dad said to the son, “Sonny. If you get another A++++ I’ll give you anything you want.”
   “Ok, Dad.”
   This happened for many years. The boy grew older into a teenager, then a young adult. The Dad had given the boy anything he wanted, whenever he did what the Father wanted. The Father wanted his son to, get good grades at school, get a niced pretty girlfriend, become school captain, win national competions, earn a scholarship into all different schools. The boy did them all. And he always asked for three green ping pong balls.
   Over the years a massive pile must have accumilated. The Father asked his son to marry, the next day he married a wealthy, beautiful and sweet woman. The father wanted Grandchildren, the next day his wife gave birth to twins. (Part Chuck Norris). And so life went on, the son was becoming ever more rich and successful with many treasures, material and otherwise. Untill.. one day the boy or should I say man, who’s name is Gary, got sick. Terribly ill. He was in hospital, dying away. The father said, tears streaming down his face,
   “Son, please. Live ’till christmas, I’ll give you anything you want.”
   The son nodded. It was only June now.
   The son lived to Christmas.
   “Son, what is it that you want?” The father asked.
   “Threee….gre…green ping pong balls” He choked out.
   The father nodded gravely, and reached into his pocket and retrieved three green ping pong balls. He handed them to his son.
   The son smiled.
   The doctor came in,
   “I’m sorry, sir, it’s a miracle he’s lived this long, but we suspect in a few more days.”
   Two days later, the son was on his deathbed. His wife cried by his side, his mother sobbing violentlty in the hall, his own son holding his hand and his father holding the other.
   The Father suddenly spoke,
   “Son, I’ve been meaning to ask you for years, what do you do with the green ping pong balls, I never asked because I thought it might be rude.”
   The son smiled.
   “THat’s simple.” He said.
   He raised his hand. ready to go deep into eplination.
   “Well see, the secret is-” and he died.