This Question From Quick Jokes | 14 Answers
Give me a quick joke that makes you laugh, will pick best answer on my favourite one!
14 Comments so far
Powered by Yahoo! Answers
Medical Jokes - Support WordPress
You can syndicate both the entries using
Medical Jokes RSS Feeds and the Joke Comments Feed
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, “Bad food.” They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. “I quit,” he says. “That’s not surprising,” the elders say. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. “Here’s that $100 I owe you,” he says.
At a White House party, a woman approached Calvin Coolidge, famed for his silence, and said “Mr. President, I made a bet I can get more than two words out of you.” He replied: “You lose.”
A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, my brother’s crazy, he thinks he’s a chicken.” The doctor says, “Why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “We would. But we need the eggs.”
Here is an Irish joke:
Once upon a time there were two Irish men. One was called Patrick and the other one was called Max. One fine day they bought two cows from a market. They decided to call them Daisy and Lou Lou. But that evening Patrick said to max, “How shall we tell the cows apart Max? It’s almost impossible to find a difference!”. “Yes you are right!” said Max. So Max stayed up all night trying to find a difference between the two cows. Then in the morning Max said, “Patrick! Patrick! I have finally found a difference between the two cows!”. “You have?” said Patrick “Please tell me!”. So Max said “Yes, the black one is two inches taller then the white one!” Ha ha, it always makes me laugh. Hope I made you laugh!
Its a christmas story tale more a parody than a joke but its quite funny :
A little girl was walking through the forest, playing with the snow. Suddenly from one bush came out one big black shi.t. The shi.t said to the girl: Little girl Im going to eat you. But the girl remained calm and replyed : No, shi.t, Im going to eat you. And the girl ate the shi.t.
And so kids the good once again has defeated the evil.
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I want a 12-year-old scotch, and don’t try to fool me because I can tell the difference.”
The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with a 5-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls, and says, “Hey bartender! This crap is 5-year-old scotch.I told you that I wanted a 12-year-old.”
The bartender won’t give up and tries once more, this time with an 8-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip, grimaces, and says, “Bartender, I do not want 8-year-old scotch like this filth. Give me a 12-year-old scotch or I’ll leave!”
Impressed, the bartender gives him the 12-year-old scotch on the house. The man takes a sip and sighs, “Ah, now that’s the real thing.”
A disgusting, ugly, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says, “Hey, I think that’s really far out what you can do. Try this one.”
The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries, “Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!”
The drunk’s eyes light up and he says, “So how old am I?”
x
Two women go out one weekend without their husbands. As they came back, just before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed that the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway.
The first one did not have anything to blot herself with, so she took her panties off, used them and discarded them. The second, not finding anything either, thought “I’m not getting rid of my panties…” so she used the ribbon of a nearby flower wreath.
The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one says to the other: “We have to be on the look-out; it seems that these two were up to no good last night, my wife came home without her panties…” The other one responded: “You’re lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her butt that read, “We will never forget you!!!.”
—
you get on the bus and sit down.you realize you have to fart. the music on the bus is really loud.you know people won’t hear you so you time your farts with the beat. you let a big one go on the final beat. it’s your stop and people are really staring at you. then you realize you have been listening to your ipod the whole time!
A chicken farmer had a problem, His chickens were not laying eggs. So he got his friend a physicist to help him. So the physicist did some calculations and said to the farmer I have a solution but it only works with spherical chickens in a vacuum.
QUESTION: What do you call a ghost’s parents?
)
)
ANSWER: Trans-PARENTS.!!!
I know it’s corny, but it seriously makes me laugh.
a panda get into a bar eat his meal then shoot the bartender and leaves
a man asked what the hell just happened?
another man said this is the creature who eats shoot & leaves
hope u enjoyed give it bbest ans
Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize?
He was out standing in his field………….. =D
what do you call a man with a spade on his head?
doug!
what do call a man with no spade on his head?
dougless!
a joke is said only by jokers….
Why is Santa Claus more intelligent than Tiger Woods?
Because he stops at three ho’s.
I thought you were good last night, but then again I must be dreaming ..or joking.
Two Irish guys walk out of a bar.
The reason that joke is funny is because you’ll never see two Irish guys walk out of a bar. They might get thrown out. They might even crawl out. But you’ll never see them walk out.